The new Immortal is taking way longer to sink in than I thought. It's totally a grower. So that means that I'll keep myself occupied by writing a review of the new Five Finger Death Punch album since I need something to keep myself occupied with (which I sadly purchased sine it was released a few days ago). What better than something horrible with which to remind myself that this is still supposed to be a funny blog?
I'll be the first person to state that this is not metal. It's post-grunge that happens to market itself as metal since post-grunge like Creed and Godsmack is no longer commercially viable. Now throw in some minor nu metal influences and you have an album that you heard several other bands make in 1999.
The fact that this is marketed as a combination of groove metal and metalcore is an insult to my intelligence. There are no traces of either. It's a bait and switch scheme that you're falling for if you like them and given this band's success, they're clearly selling albums to actual fans rather than just snarky bloggers making ironic purchases.
You have everything that makes for a shitty album here. Cheesy lyrics about punching people in the face? Check. Dated musical ideas that today's fifteen-year-olds don't remember? Check. Needless profanity to connect with my angsty thirteen-year-old self? Check. Guitar solos to make it seem like this somehow isn't just some 90s radio rock bullshit? Check.
When your singer even uses an outdated singing style that connects him with one of many faceless and forgotten bands from yesteryear, you suck. There is nothing original about this band at all except for trying to not be trendy by following dead trends to pretend that you're something new. Thankfully, I have a better memory than a goldfish.
This band is truly, honestly in it for the money and it's clear that they're the biggest get rich quick scheme in all of metal. I'd rather drink a six pack of Tecate than give this a second listen. At least this CD can be used for skeet shooting.
1/10
Funny review:) I like their music somewhat but I agree with the unoriginality of the band. Too many times I couldn't help think that they were trying to fuse Dave Draiman and Phil Anselmo together.Scary abd sad.With a name like Five Finger Death Punch you'd think this would be a fun geeky kind of band. Well they are geeks but not the fun kind.
ReplyDeleteThe tough guy shit has also got to go. Check out my blog on what I had to say about the recent issue with their missing guitarist. If those guys are so tough then why result in binges that could jeopardize a big tour?
Idiots.
Http://thatdevilmusic.blogspot.com